Playing Your Own Game

“The big question about how people behave is whether they’ve got an Inner Scorecard or an Outer Scorecard. It helps if you can be satisfied with an Inner Scorecard.” - Warren Buffett

We all have a tendency to compare ourselves to others. We compare salaries, relationships, height. You name it, we compare it.

It's natural to be competitive, to size each other up. It can even be healthy. Some people represent a higher standard that drives us to be better. Role models are important.

However, without perspective, admiration can devolve into envy and discouragement. Seeing others succeed, especially those younger, can make you feel inadequate. You start to question your self-worth and your growth stalls.

It's important to remember external comparisons are fundamentally flawed. People are too different to fairly compare.

Those who have a higher net worth might come from a wealthy family. Those more physically impressive might have genetic gifts. Our starting lines vary.

Our goals and values also vary. Some hold professional achievement above all else and are driven to work, work, work. Others value freedom, seeing work only as a means to an end. Success looks different to different people.

This makes it impossible to compare yourself to others. It's better to compare yourself against yourself.

Measure against your goals and your progress towards them. Look at your finances through the lens of your circumstances, not your peers. You're only playing against yourself. This is a single player game.

External scorecards never fit and forces you to play under other people's rules. Having an internal scorecard frees you to play your own game.

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The Art of Giving Feedback

Constructive feedback is an awkward affair. You don't want hurt feelings, but recognize the importance of honesty. You've tried the classic "hoping things will get better on its own" and unfortunately it hasn't played out. When giving feedback, here are a few things that I try to keep it mind. Start with empathy. Step into their shoes and understand their story. If you don't know, ask. Be genuinely curious. Feedback is a dynamic affair. Shared communication with a shared goal towards progress. Take the emotion out of it. Focus on the situation, not the person. Focusing on the person adds unnecessary weight to an already emotionally-bloated event. Be specific. Give clear examples. Vague feedback equals dismissed feedback. Doing above won't de-awkward things fully, but it will dampen it and increase the chance of better outcomes.

Bias For Clarity

Bias for action. Gets things done. Go-getter. Traits companies big and small look for. And for good reason, you're being hired to do things! However, action is a secondary step that often overshadows the primary step, direction. Clear direction is the foundation that enables our actions to takeoff. Without it, we're stuck in the mud. Striving for clarity is an underrated skill. Having the courage to ask ( seemingly ) obvious questions, and to check in, making sure we're all on the same page. "O bvious " questions are a low risk, high reward way to add value. At worst, you'll add confidence to our actions. At best, you discover a misalignment that saves us from a dead-end. The more people, the more clear we need to be. The bigger the initiative, the bigger the risk of reaching the finish line, only to realize expectations were off. Success is always uncertain. But we can be certain about what we want and what everyone's job is. Things that can be clea

Negative Feedback, Positive Lessons

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Herman Ye

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